


Rose Petals and Hydrangeas

by Psikopatic



Category: Persona 2
Genre: First Kiss, Light Angst, M/M, Partial amnesia, also also: idk if i should tag this as canon divergence, also its tatsuya thats holding jun and not maya, but is conflicted cuz of other feelings:), but watch out for that anyway, maya; lisa; yukino; eikichi; fujii mentioned, tatsuya finds out early who joker is and starts hating him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 02:14:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Psikopatic/pseuds/Psikopatic
Summary: In the end, Tatsuya could never hate Jun.
Relationships: Kurosu Jun/Suou Tatsuya
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Rose Petals and Hydrangeas

**Author's Note:**

> those two live in my head rent free. i HAD to write something about them to help with the brainrot u_u
> 
> * Might edit this later. Apologies for any grammatical errors or typos!

Somehow, Tatsuya managed to figure out who Joker was almost right from the start.

He wasn’t happy about it.

And yet, he wasn’t able to stop flicking the lighter he was given that day open and closed...

——————

He was still kept in the shadows about the real identity of Joker when Maya and Yukino joined their group. He knew he should’ve realized it the moment Maya stepped in front of him for the first time (considering his partial amnesia from then, it was the first time he’d met ‘Big Sis’), but Tatsuya was still thankful whenever he got a fragment of a memory back. Piecing everything together was difficult, but when he got that _spark_ \- that lightbulb above him finally lit up, that last puzzle piece placed itself in the missing place... and he remembered.

_Jun._

At first, Tatsuya refused to believe it. He thought it nonsense, a fraud, a makeshift illusion to distort the truth — he couldn’t shake off the feeling like he was drowning that rose from the bottom of his stomach to the back of his head. He didn’t want to believe his _best fucking friend_ was the one causing people to turn into Shadows, wrecking havoc across Sumaru City; and he had countless nights where he couldn’t fall asleep, his mind battling with itself to figure out whether or not what he found out was true, the dark bags under his eyes proof of that. He was sure Lisa noticed he wasn’t getting enough sleep, but she never inquired about it. All she did was look at him with a worried expression on her face whenever Tatsuya pretended he didn’t see her, and if he wouldn’t have been thinking about Jun until now, he might have actually smiled her way for once, telling her he’s okay just to calm her nerves down a little — except he couldn’t bring himself to do anything for anyone. He did his best to protect the others, Maya’s words forever helpful, just like back then…

_Jun._

It didn’t take long for Tatsuya to develop resentment.

It was almost funny how everything turned out to be, how they all went from a promise to tie them all together forever as good friends, to having to fight- _kill_ , even, the only person he ever fully trusted, but Tatsuya wasn’t laughing and the ache in his heart was a little too painful to ignore. A little voice inside his head was telling him to not lose hope, to not let his vision be clouded by unnecessary mirages (perhaps it was Vulcanus’ attempt at comforting), but how could he not? How could he simply ignore all the chaos Jun was causing? All the torment, all the agony — nobody deserved to have their dreams literally sucked out of them and turned into mindless, suffering puppets, in the same way that nobody deserved to be recruited into a fucking cult, of all things. ‘ _The Masked Circle? What a load of shit._ ’ was the first thing that went through Tatsuya’s mind when they’d first found out about them, and he knew the others were starting to remember themselves, slowly. It was no use for Jun to get all sentimental with them, not when he put other people’s lives at stake. He felt guilty, deep inside, that Tatsuya... He tried his best to get rid of that suffocating feeling; he tried to forcefully convince himself that Jun was the evil that he and the others had to exterminate, so why did he feel like this? Was he wrong in thinking so? Was Jun not the grand mastermind behind this mess? Whatever Vulcanus was whispering to him, Tatsuya turned a deaf ear to, and even if Vulcanus _screamed_ at him, something so out of character of his Persona, he didn’t care to listen. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t-

_Jun._

The worse things got and the more enemies they fought, the better was Tatsuya able to disregard his contradictory sentiments. Even his Persona went quiet, if only for the few ‘ _Hang in there._ ’s and ‘ _Don’t lose hope._ ’s it kept spouting at the worst times possible, but even so, Tatsuya felt like he was freed from some metaphoric shackles. He felt as though he was finally able to think a little clearer now, rid of any worries. All he wanted now was to defeat _him_ , to bring everything back to _normal_.

_Jun._

Eikichi and Lisa thought he still didn’t remember.

It was troublesome just how visibly affected they got because of the flashbacks. Not like he could blame them, really — it’s not like Tatsuya himself had trouble with the recovering memories, but their sorrow started impacting him, right when he was feeling- wait, was he even _feeling_ anything? How long has it been since he felt something? At that point, it didn’t even matter anymore. He was left confused after the entire deal at mt. Iwato and the shrine, though. He didn’t believe- didn’t _want_ to believe there was still something human left in Jun, yet he felt something warm bubble up within him, faint but still _there_ , burning, his previous dissociation from his own emotions disappearing — his Persona was chuckling quietly and Tatsuya couldn’t tell why. It pissed him off beyond belief, because _what the hell, what is your problem? why are you like this?_ , but he received no answer and he bothered not to claw one out, either. And somehow, he couldn’t stop rage from building inside of him; inexplicable fury started pulsing in his head, the boy now sure that he was going to get a migraine from it, but no matter — the Last Battalion turned out to exist, all thanks to the rumors. Fujii-san died in Yukino’s arms before she went after Anna. Tatsuya knew, they were close, _so close_ , he had to protect them-

_Jun._

The scene in front of him was as disheartening as it was terrifying. Even more than that, it was as if it was ripped straight out of an action movie — with the Fuhrer alive because of the rumors and the Joker standing above all, his last living executive (probably) next to him and shadow versions of Tatsuya and his friends on guard and ready to fight.

Tatsuya didn’t entirely comprehend the situation they were in while on the way to where the Joker was, though — the robots were like any other enemy he killed before and he didn’t worry much about getting out of a fight alive. It’s as if he ran through everything swiftly like the wind, taking down opponents left and right with ease. He didn’t know whether or not it was that same rage from before that helped him advance like this, and he wasn’t about to silently thank their current condition for messing with his heart and head, either, but he _was_ somewhat glad that he was able to make it in time.

His heart dropped at the sight of the Joker falling to his knees, though.

The fights were painful, to say the least. Despite all of his efforts to rid himself of the love he felt for Jun when they were kids and even now, to make himself _hate_ Jun enough to be able to kill him and end this mess once and for all, he _couldn’t_. Tatsuya couldn’t bring himself to hate Jun no matter how hard he tried and how much he denied everything he felt for him. There was a bond, a tie between him and Jun that couldn’t be severed at all, not even if rumors became true or if wishes were made. It was something Tatsuya was sure was unmatched, and he knew, even if he didn’t care to listen to Maya and the others up until now, he _knew_ , deep down, that Jun, too, was aware of their bond. Jun hadn’t meant for any of this to happen, either. It was all his stupid fucking father’s fault — he was dragged and manipulated into something he never wished for. And the Joker fought back against those warm feelings, much like Tatsuya did, but even so, it didn’t work. 

“Jun…”

A boy around Tatsuya’s age lay in his arms. He seemed to be wearing Cuss High’s uniform, which fit him nicely, both in style and color. His right eye was covered by his fringe, but his left eye was opening slowly. Jun’s iris landed almost instantly on Tatsuya — it had a certain shine to it, he noticed, compared to the Joker, who seemed more dead inside than anything else. A mix of emotions took over Tatsuya, sudden and violent, and he couldn’t stop the tears that were threatening to fall from flowing down his cheeks in the next second, a couple droplets having made their way onto Jun’s cheek. The shorter boy reached a hand to gently wipe away the tears, smiling softly at Tatsuya. 

"I'm so sorry, Tatsuya…" was all Jun could muster at that moment, his previous smile turning into a frown, his hand laying gently on Tatsuya's cheek. It took him a moment to open his mouth, thinking and thinking and replaying things in his head that he secretly wanted to tell Jun when he saw him again, but then, with the confidence Tatsuya has, the same confidence that calms people down in stressful situations, the same confidence that seems to attract unwanted attention from other peers, the same confidence that charmed even Jun himself, he says "I missed you.", quietly. 

Time seems to have stopped momentarily. There were no more tears. Neither Tatsuya nor Jun could tell when and how it came to it, but their lips were now on each other's, unmoving and dry because neither of the two had a sip of water in god knows how long, but it was warm. For the first time in Jun's life, he felt _warm_. Tatsuya noticed there were red rose petals scattered around the two of them when they reluctantly parted, and a single blue hydrangea lay right in the middle of Jun's chest. When Jun stood up and the taller boy looked around again, though, the petals and the flower were gone, and he could see his- _their_ friends looking shocked yet relieved at the two of them. Neither paid any mind to the illusion from before as Tatsuya smiled at Jun and nearly burst into laughter at Lisa's reaction to their first kiss (at least, that's what Tatsuya assumed), taking one of Jun's hands into his, noticing the watch he gave the shorter boy that day. He then caught Jun’s eyes staring at him look at the watch, and he took out his lighter, earning a silent gasp then a smile from him.

In the end, Tatsuya could never bring himself to hate Jun, and neither could Jun ever begin to hate Tatsuya.


End file.
